BB; The One & Only

I don’t know how many people read the stuff I write but if anyone has any requests or a topic suggestion, I’d love to write something for you.

When I say you’re so beautiful it hurts, I don’t mean a physical pain. It’s having something so close but you can’t touch that causes emotional strain. Couldn’t have you before and I won’t be able to have you later, but for right now I need you to do me a favor; keep being the honest sweet angel that’s kept my attention for quite some time, keep being the girl who inspired every rhyme. I know I’m gonna leave, but it’ll be easier than you think, even if we’re “just friends” I promise I won’t let you sink. I’ll be around any time that you need me, might even let you call me Brendan instead of BB. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself and you won’t take it as hard as I will but that still won’t change the way I feel. In my eyes you’re still the closest thing to perfect, I hope you’re not crying because I want you to smile, I want you to know I think you’re worth it & if you couldn’t tell already, I’ve been thinking it for awhile.

If you say you wouldn’t change a thing you’re either crazy or in denial. You’d do something different, the first kiss, the first hit, figure out how to turn tears to a smile. You’d love her more, you’d trust them less, ask for the name of the 5’7 brunette in the blue dress. Retract that lie, replace it with the truth. Narrate a new movie while you watch it on mute. Would you chase that childhood dream? Would you try to grow up faster? Would you go back to school and try to get your Master’s? I’d probably drop out, stop wasting time in classes where mediocrity hangs out. Start doing what I love, find that one passion, formulate a plan and out it into action. I hope you’d do the same, find something you love, acknowledge all your blessings and thank the Lord above. Show the world how God blessed you, give the man on the corner an extra dollar and tell him God bless you. Don’t hold that grudge, forgive while you can, there’s no reason to lose sleep over the actions of another man. Focus on happiness and stick to God’s plan, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one will believe you can.

Roll up quick but please slow your roll, flips and pole tricks, slide down slow. Smoke in the air and money on the flo’, third cup, seconds dance, I’m starting to let go. Don’t look me in the eyes unless you wanna feel my pain. My cup runneth over but my thoughts remain contained. Dances in my lap her fingers running through my mane, no coincidence we both find comfort in the rain. Can’t describe the feeling cuz I’m completely numb. Think I must be faded, I’m too far from reality. 2 spliffs I swore I was done, thank all my exes for my new mentality. Should prolly call for a ride but I think I’m gonna drive, do what I can to keep the swerving to a minimum, even if I wreck I’ll still be alive, made it home to listen to Continuum.

I’m not drunk, I’m not high, I’m completely sober. I just wanna apologize, I don’t wanna start over. I just wanna let you know you don’t deserve me, and I don’t deserve us or we. You’ve been down since the start and all I’ve done is break your heart. It’s taken me this long to realize how much that means, but I want you to know I love you no matter what it seems. I’m not consistent, I’m not good at commitment, amazed you’re not to the point of resentment. I’m not gonna lie and say me and you forever, but I miss when we we’re together. Not together but your company, your presence has always been a present for me. I miss your gift, I miss your touch, I just wanted to apologize, I hope this isn’t too much.